The Truth Hurts: My Post BlogHer Marriage Lesson

My bags were in the trunk.  All evidence of my weekend away neatly packed and stowed.

After a kiss hello, I asked, "How was it?"

I wanted him to be beaten down.
I wanted him to sigh with relief at my return.
I wanted him to drop to his knees and french kiss the ground I walk on.

But he did none of those things.

"It was a breeze," he said.

"A breeze?  Come on."

"No.  Really,"  he confirmed and then had the nerve to add, "In fact,  it was...easier."

It took all the impulse control I had to not haul off and smack him.   This man I love.  I mean, really.  This is the thanks I get?!

I wanted to get back on the plane.  Fly back to my girls.  To people who appreciated my company.  Laughed at my jokes.  Complimented my hair AND my outfits.  (Please read the rest of my post at LA Moms Blog by clicking here).

Public School Answering Machine Teaches Parents A Lesson

 

If you are a parent of school-age children, please click on this link, to hear the funniest school answering machine message EVAH!  It was rumored that a school actually used this but according to Snopes.com, the rumor is false. 

I apologize, you will have to go the extra step and download the MP3 file but don't blame me, blame Blogger.
 
For the love of Pete, Blogger, please figure out easier ways to upload video and MP3 files into the posts!  Thank you.

Give Me The Grateful Life Monday AKA BlogHer09 Follow-Up

Wow. 

I am once again surprised by the lingering impact the BlogHer weekends have on me.

Last year, my first, I didn't know what to expect. 

This year, I thought myself an "expert" and not vulnerable to being blindsided by the intensity.

But I am.  The schedule, the crowds, the number of great women (and few men) with whom I wanted to meet and connect. 

I am exhausted.

My head is spinning.

But I feel great.

I know there is a lot of negative buzz going on in Twitterland and elsewhere 2.0 about the weekend.  But I am choosing to be grateful for the fun times I had, the amazing people I met, the fantastic city I explored.  I'm letting the rest of it, the shit, settle to the bottom where it belongs.

So here is what I am grateful for today.  I will write in more detail once my brain is fully functioning:

• I am grateful for getting to/from Chicago safely and on time.
• I am grateful for not getting stuck in rush hour traffic and overstuffed limos.
• I am grateful for going to so many parties and yet not being a party to high drama.
• I am grateful for the amazing, informative seminars, the ROTFLMAO Humor Panel in particular.  (Please BlogHer ladies, get a bigger room next year, this subject deserves it.)
• I am grateful for protein and oatmeal at breakfast.
• I am grateful for a great roomie.
• I am grateful for making it to the Cheezburger party this year.  (Where else would I don a McD's bag on my head and not look strange.)
• I am grateful for seeing and meeting so many of my blogger (now IRL) friends.
  

• And though, for me, BlogHer was NOT about the swag (I didn't go to parties for it and I didn't even visit the Expo until late Saturday afternoon), I am truly grateful for the Kodak pocket videocam.  Sweeeeet.
  
• And, of course, I'm grateful for my husband who supremely held down the fort in my absence.
• And I am grateful for my kids.  (Who I still think are cute.  Ask me later today.)
  

Welcome home everyone. 

I Picked A Lousy Time To Have Blog Fatigue

I have a pre-BlogHer confession to make...
I haven't been reading your blogs.
I know I should have.
At least I should have been catching up.
But I haven't.

I could have kept it a secret longer but with the big weekend coming up,  I didn't want anyone to mistake my blank stares for rudeness or indifference.

It's not either.
It's ineptitude.

I just cannot find the time to go through my reader.
When I do snare a few minutes to relax with my online friends, I manage to get through the first few blogs in my reader and then, no doubt,  I'm off again,  rushing to a pair of rabid children who are scratching each other's eyes out and to a pair of wild and hungry canines who will chew through my living room furniture if kibble isn't readily served.  So, basically, if you're at the top of my reader, I'm up to speed (all four of you).  If not, I apologize.

So when you see me and refer to an incident or post from your blog expecting some recall on my part, and I smile weakly and say nothing, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT take it personally. 

I mean - have you seen how little attention I've given to my own blog lately?

Blame it on adult ADD.
Blame it on Chronic Social Media Fatigue - CSMF
(Look it up in the most recent Physician's Desk Reference...I dare you!)

In any case,  I don't have IRL fatigue and I'm looking forward to seeing/meeting all of you in person.  So don't bite.  Puh-leeze.

Give Me The Grateful Life - Monday

 

I am quickly losing track of time.  I cannot remember what day it is with no school or camp schedule to keep me in line.  The days are seamless, bleeding into one another.

But you know what?  I'll take that over getting up early, packing lunches, and carpools, any day.

Which leads me to this week's gratitude...

• I am grateful for the lovely breakfast I had with Heather and Meghan (and two new friends, Hannah and (another) Heather), yesterday morning.  It's always nice to see my girls.
• I am grateful for the selfish Sunday I had - swimming, sunning, and working out -  after a totally chaotic week.
• I am grateful that the huge zit which lived and breathed on my chin for over a week is finally taking it's last breaths. 
• I am grateful that I will have a new design for this blog soon.
  
• I am grateful that my trip to Chicago is in little over a week.  Are you ready to PARTAY ladies!

What are you grateful for?

Can You Spell L-O-S-E-R?

I would love to tell you all that I am 3/4 of the way through my novel for FraMoWrihoweverlongittakesMo.
But I'd be lying.
I am not even close.

I did get off to a strong start but truly...what the hell was I thinking???

I committed myself during a time when:

• school was finishing
  
• we took our family vacation (which was great btw)
• we are undergoing construction and other home improvements 
• the kids are home EVERY DAY, ALL DAY  

I set myself up to fail...which is a whole other Pandora's box of therapy-worthy introspection  (but not now, I don't have time!)

It literally is a joke.

All day workers call my name, hammers pound my walls, shovels dig into my dirt, drills screech into my stone.  My kids whine, my dogs bark, and the phone, please, will someone please quiet the damn phone.

And then it's 9am.

I'm exhausted.
I'm frustrated.
I'm hungry.
I want to write!

Last week, I told myself this week.
This week, I've promised myself next week.
Wonder what I'll tell myself after that.

I feel like a failure.