I'm going to a baby shower tomorrow.
I've never been a big fan of girl parties that don't include multiple rounds of mixed cocktails and raucous laughter. At my baby showers, I insisted the hostesses ban games of any sort like those where you guess the baby's name, it's sex, or the size of my bulging abdomen. No, no. Not for me. Having said that, hanging with the girls and getting gifts - lots o' fun.
Since I don't know anyone going tomorrow except for the mom-to-be, I have been apprehensive about the party. But tonight I got an email that changed my outlook toward these proper, girly celebrations. I've been told that my friend, who was in remission from lung cancer, newly married and six months pregnant, has had a recurrence which has spread to other organs as well as her brain.
She is taking visitors tomorrow. The immediacy of the invitation frightens me. I want to be positive but I can't help considering the worst.
So after the baby shower, for which I will show much more respect and gratitude, I will go to the hospital.
It will be an emotional day visiting two pregnant friends. One in a beautiful garden accented with icy pitchers of lemonade and a procession of party dresses the other in a spare hospital room with a lifeless pitcher of tap and a show of hospital scrubs. Though both scenes are filled with the anticipation of life, the two couldn't be more different.
I'm struggling with what I am going to say to my sick friend. It's bad enough that she has cancer but with a baby on the way? I have so many questions, so many concerns, so many fears. What to ask? What not to ask? I'm worried what the look on my face will convey when I walk in the room.
If anyone has any suggestions, I would greatly appreciate them. I want to make her feel loved and cared for. I don't want to try too hard, put my foot in my mouth, and make her feel worse.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Posted by merlotmom at 10:19 PM
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