Friday, May 9, 2008

Best Laid Plans: The Jokes on Me This Mother's Day

Today was going to be for me, a pre-mother's day gift to myself.

As of 7:30am this morning, this was how my day was going to go:

  • Ready kids for school
  • Drive son to school
  • Do 20 minute pilates routine
  • Meet friend for birthday brunch (hers)
  • Write blog post
  • Write out idea for a book
  • Edit short story
  • Pick up son from school
  • Drive daughter to sleepover party in San Fernando valley (45:00 - 1:00hr away in rush hour traffic)

As of 3:30, this is how it's gone so far:
  • Readied kids for school
  • Drove son to school
  • Picked up daughter's newly hemmed jeans which she "had to have" for party
  • Started pilates routine
  • Three minutes later stopped pilates routine: house alarm company called, something wrong with system, they must come to fix it NOW.
  • Pediatrician called: son's strep test which was negative yesterday is now positive
  • Waited impatiently for alarm technician who was already in transit
  • Waited for him to fix the problem
  • Rushed to school to pick up son who was breathing cootie-like, contagious germs onto his classmates
  • Picked up antiobiotics at drugstore
  • Held squirmy, screaming son's nose for 30 minutes as he spit out swallowed 8ml of antibiotics
  • Stuck son in front of Scooby Doo video
  • Read emails and recent blog posts
  • Got call from carpool mom who said sorry but she can't do carpool and could I pick up my daughter instead
  • Got another call from different carpool mom who can't drive and asked if I could take her carpoolers home

So, here I sit, about to join other pitiful commuters on the clogged 405 Freeway, listening to my kids fight over space on the 8 foot couch that's not big enough for the two of them. My plans for a beautiful day up in SAHM flames.

I'm pissed! I'm frustrated! I want to cry!

I guess I could breathe and tell myself this is simply a chapter in my own life's book. The "mommy" chapter where I do everything for everyone else and little is done for me. That in the following "empty nest" chapters it will be different, quiet, and I'll yearn for the busy days when my children buzzed around in constant need.

Like yesterday, when after two days at home with my son who had me running up and down the stairs to change the water that was too warm or the mac and cheese that was too cold, I experienced one of the sweetest mommy moments. While playing with his SpongeBob Squarepants grill he asked, "Mommy, are you hungry?" and, for once, though busy on the computer, I was present.

"Yes," I looked up from reading Dooce's post about wanting to "give New York City a blow job" and answered, "I'd like a hamburger please, hold the onions"

Seconds later (I didn't have the heart to tell him about E.coli) he appeared, "Here Mommy, your Triple Crabby Supreme and fries."

He waited for my critique. "Mmmmn," I said as I chewed emphatically, "this is the best burger I've ever had. Thank you, sweetie."

He smiled proudly as I pulled him close and kissed the top of his bushy-haired head.

This simple moment took me back to a time, not so long ago but a lifetime away, when I was permitted to kiss him on the cheek, when it was okay to hug him in public, when I, not Russell, or Cole, or Brendan, or Benjamin, was his best friend. It reminded me of how time flies; how fast kids grow.

I get it. No one has to hit me over the head with my own message - BUT- in order to make this okay...

...Mother's Day better ROCK!

(Hubby, are you listening?)

Happy Mother's Day to all.


InTheFastLane said...

isn't it funny that everything in LA is 40min to an hour away? I didn't realize this until my hubby kept asking me about places and the answer was always the same.

One the rest of your post - I hope you get a day to yourself for Mother's day? I asked for one, but no can do :)

Toddie Downs said...

Oh, honey. I feel your pain. One day I shall write about the reality of Mother's Day - guess what? The kids are still whiny, the hubby needs to mow the lawn, and the house is a sty. At least in my house. But the fact that you let your child make you a triple Crabby patty and pronounced it delicious? That reaches me as deeply as the episode where Spongebob befriends Plankton and Plankton almost, almost lets himself be befriended. You're not the only one whose children cook food from the Crusty Crab.:)

Happy Mother's Day from one who's right there in the trenches with you. In my opinion, you da' bomb.

merlotmom said...

Fast Lane: Yep, asked and I'm getting it. I'm going to take the day to myself, sit myself in a coffee shop somewhere and write or read - uninterruped for hours. Heaven. THen I'll have dinner with the family - no clean up required. YES! Better than sex. DEFINITELY!

Toddie Downs: THank you for your kind comments! I can honestly say no one's ever called me "da bomb" before. And yes the crabby pattie moment was quite sweet. They're such cuties when they're not a pain in the ass.

Happy mother's day.

©2010 All rights reserved. Reproductions of any portion of this website only at the express permission of