"Fine."
"So you've sent out your invites? Bought your dress? Ordered the flowers?"
"No, no, and, ummm, no."
"Oh," they say pretending to be impressed while simultaneously creating space between you as if laziness is catching. "You're so... calm," they add. Where calm really means HOLY SHIT WOMAN why are you sitting here talking to me when you should be home ordering yarmulkes with your daughter's name on them!
Needless to say, I spent this weekend stuffing, stamping, and addressing envelopes and I can already share with you a few of the errors of my procrastinating ways:
1. DO order extra envelopes and DO NOT stamp them BEFORE you address them. I apologize in advance to those guests whose beautiful envelopes arrive scarred with ugly cross outs, "N"s that look like they were once "M"s, and street addresses that say "Drive" instead of "Road". I sure hope those last ones get to you :).
2. DO have your entire guest list typed up and DON'T forget to include the addresses. You don't want to be embarrassed (or drawn into another lengthy phone call with your lonely, great Aunt Sylvie) because you forgot to write the info down when you sent your "Save the dates".
3. DO tally (DO NOT estimate) your guest list before you order your invites. Almost is okay for horseshoes and hand grenades, but not when needing two more means you'll have to order 50 and wait another two weeks for delivery.
4. DO NOT realize all this days before you leave for your tropical vacation when your calendar is already filled with day trips to amusement parks, Target runs, and double sessions with your Wii Fit trainer.
OY! So much for calm.
"Hey," I can hear you saying, "it's Give Me The Gratitude - Monday, where's her f**king gratitude?"
And you're right (but you didn't have to get all bitchy about it.)
Here it is. Jeez!
- I am grateful for the season opener of Mad Men and the chance to watch Jon Hamm for another short, but very sweet, season.
- I am grateful for the big, cushy lounge chair waiting for me on the big, cushy island of Hawaii.
- I am grateful for the Wii Fit cause in the next few days that motha's gonna beat my abs into bikini-ready submission.
- I am grateful for the cream-cheese frosted, triple-layer, berry cake from my favorite bakery, Huckleberry (which means spending more time with the Wii Fit but it was totally worth it.)
What are you grateful for today?
7 Comments:
I am grateful that I'm Catholic and don't have to contend with the kind of party planning stress not felt since my wedding.
I'm grateful that one of us feels good enough to get into a bikini.
I am grateful that school starts in two weeks and two days!
Thanks for tips. I'll be taking notes. And by the way. It's going to be a great Bat Mitzvah.
Here's something to be grateful for: you won't make these mistakes when planning for your son's Bar Mitzvah!
I would be grateful for the cream-cheese frosted, triple-layer, berry cake. I don't have one of those but I am grateful for wine (much needed this week) and Cold Stone Creamery cupcakes. They go well with the wine.
I'm cracking up, but it's with you, not at you. It will all be fine, promise, you should relax and enjoy Hawaii. That chair awaits.
I'm grateful that I'm not the only one. My son's bar mitzvah is in 3 months and 9 days and I've done nothing. Do you hear me … nothing. We reserved the face, but the deposit check is still sitting in my car. I have not ordered invitations. I have not done anything except drive my son to tutoring and nag him to practice every other day.
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