Thursday, October 9, 2008

A Cheating Heart: A Confession of Blogger Infidelity


Dear Beloved Blog,

I've been wanting to tell you this for awhile... 
The guilt has been killing me...
There's no easy way to say it so I'll just...

I'VE BEEN SEEING SOMEONE ELSE...

Actually more than one person.
Actually hundreds of people.

You can call me SLUT if you want to...

There's no need to know who...
No, I'm not going to name names...
Okay, fine, if you must know, it's...


 AND





CALM DOWN!  It's not you...it's ME.

It's just...well...our relationship has become... high-maintenance.

In the beginning, we were great.
You inspired me.
You made me feel good.
And in return I gave you my all.

But, lately, it's been hard.
While my mistresses are satisfied with quips and quotes, the mere gift of 140 character gab,
You stare me down, arms crossed,  your foot tap, tap, tapping with expectation.
 
I've become a slave to your wiles.
Your cunning demands for popularity and ever-increasing reader stats.

I've lost the pure joy of writing - moving you to tears and making you laugh.
My thrill or defeat now rests with the number of comments you receive.

I want to please you but I'm beginning to resent you.

I'm taking the pressure off.
Taking time to reconnect with other things that I love: books, movies, my kids, my husband,
did I forget to mention I was married?

I'll see you when I see you.
Could be tomorrow.  Could be next month.
Could be random days in between.

But you haven't seen the last of me yet, dear blog.

Not by a long shot.

Lovingly,
merlotmom

25 Comments:

iMommy said...

Good for you! It's tough to walk away and take a step back, but sometimes it's what we need.

I hope you get your bloggy inspiration back, soon!

csquaredplus3 said...

Boy. I sure relate to your "Dear John" letter here. I don't do Twitter or Facebook for the same reasons though - too much pressure to stay on top of something. I simply don't have the time.

You blog whenever you want. Once a day, once a week, once a month, once every six months... I'll still read.

Take care.

Chris

Manic Mommy said...

Noooooooooo! Don't leave me! I can change! I can be whatever you want me to! It's the template, isn't it?!

Wait! Dammit you are a slut! I know all about those party-girls Twitter and Facebook! With them, it's all about you. I do listen you know! But do they? They may ask "what are you doing?" But do they really want to know? I ask "what are you thinking, what are you feeling?"

*sob*
~Broiling in Boston

JCK said...

I'm so glad you're going to treat yourself to this! It will feel wonderful. Once you let go of the guilt... Seriously, it is delicious!

InTheFastLane said...

And...I have to admit that I do all of these things...sob...I am and addict. Enjoy your time away, I am sure I will see you somewhere else :)

Mr Lady said...

Twitter is the drunk chick at the bar of the blogosphere. No one blames you; sometimes, it just has to be done. :)

Ellyn said...

Hope to see you back soon. Get your inspiration back. In the mean time I will just follow you around on twitter. But not in the werid stalker way.

amyz5 said...

that was hysterical. loved the Mr Lady comment

phd in yogurtry said...

Hope you enjoy and reconnect.

Florinda said...

I've had similar thoughts myself lately, but am not yet ready to do what you're doing here. But yeah, when it stops being fun, it's best to step back. See ya!

Magpie said...

Oh yeah.

And the best thing? The Twitter app in Facebook, so that when you hang out at Twitter, your Facebook "status" gets an update. Ooh...

And then there's that whole Facebook thing of my sister turning out to know your husband and if that's not three degrees of separation, I don't know what is.

Toddie said...

Dang it! You've been on Twitter this whole time and I've missed you? Well, I'll fix that right now (Hits Follow).

Don't know if you ever read me, but if you do, you'll recognize some of the same signs you're describing. And it looks like you started about the same time as me, too. Hmmm. Coincidence? You make the call.

Regardless, I admire what you're doing, and you may find me doing the same thing.

merlotmom said...

Toddie, IMommy, and Chris: Thank you for your nice words and support. I will definitely be around, I just have no idea when (and think I might like it that way). Maybe without the self-imposed pressure, I will actually blog more...who knows. And Toddie, that time line is interesting...maybe there's something to that. Hmmmn.

the mama bird diaries said...

funny funny

spend time with your husband? your kids? get your priorities in order girl.

Anna Lefler said...

Oh, man...it's nice to hear that someone else obsesses over the comment count. Yeesh.

Enjoy the UCLA writing class! Awesome!

See you back soon...or whenever you feel like it..

:^) Anna

2KoP said...

I'm afraid to venture onto Twitter and Facebook, for fear I will never be able to move away from the computer again. At least with my blog, I'm in control. I am in control, right? RIGHT?

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

If someone mentions Facebook one more time, I'll scream!

But I understand your re-think. Step back, figure out why you really want to blog, or if even you want to blog, and don't give a crap what we think. It's what YOU think that matters.

And now if you'll excuse me, I have to go worry about 437 other blogs, catch up on my Twitter, BlogCatalog, HumorBloggers, Technorati, StumbleUpon, etc. etc. etc.

Maggie, Dammit said...

I'll wait.

Vodka Mom said...

I'm addicted to blogging. THANK GOD I don't know how to twitter. I'd be divorced for sure. and my kids would be taken away...

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Now I know why I can't even think about taking on anything else.

I loved the way this post came out...

Mandy said...

I've fallen into the facebook pit too!! The bad part is I know this, and yet, I'm still thinking I should check out Twitter!!

Kalynne Pudner said...

I've just started composing my ode to facebook. To put on my blog.

Nora Bee said...

Facebook totally sucks all my creativity away, too. I can't stand it.

Anna See said...

Oh yeah, this letter says it all. Why should we resent something that started out as so much fun?

manic mariah said...

I totally feel the same way. TOO much pressure.

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