Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Casa de Cuckoo

Your house would be crazy too if you and both of your kids were trapped at home instead of out in the summer sun blowing goobers into tissues and spray sneezing all over the dog.

Hubby's staying out all hours, washing his hands like Lady MacBeth, and raiding the pharmacies for vitamin C. He's got a manly man weekend planned and nothing, not even his family who needs him, is gonna keep him from that.

Since my daughter has been sick so many times this year, 24 school days to be exact, I've put her on vitamins to boost her immunity. I've tried this before but my girl is no dummy. She takes them for a few days and then stashes the bottle in the back of the cabinet counting on dear ol' mom to forget about them.

And yes...I do.

But not this time. No! This time mom is at the ready. I sweetened her up with some home- brewed iced tea with crushed ice, just the way she likes it, then I placed the teeny, tiny pill right next to her ice cold drink and told her "take the goddamn pill or I will shove it down your throat I will sit by your side offering comfort and support all day if I have to."

My daughter knows how to swallow pills; has for over a year now. She just doesn't LIKE to take them. Well, have you seen the pills I choke on everyday?


"I can't swallow if you're watching me!" my daughter tried playing her old tricks on me.

But I've been fooled before, finding the evidence hours later at the bottom of the fruit bowl, wedged between the place mat and the table, or buried beneath her pillow.

I saw One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest AND Girl Interrupted. I know the tricks; hiding meds under the tongue and then spitting them out or slipping them to the nearest unsuspecting loon. (Hmmn, maybe that's why the dog's coat looks so good.)

My girl is going nowhere until I know that pill is safely down her rabbit hole.
Each day. Every day. Until she goes to college. Or until I forget. Whichever comes first.

Just call me Nurse Ratched.

**Thank you all for your nice comments on the last post. I did check on the nest yesterday, and while I couldn't see inside the street sign, I did hear some baby chirps. I have no idea if it was the same bird but I prefer to think on the bright side.


P.S. Original said...

I hear ya! My daughter stashed her B Complex in the Ficus Tree...didn't discover it until a year later when I went to transplant it...the tree thrived, my darling girl continued to bring home every bug going around school. Go figure!

Manic Mommy said...

Poor kids - Poor YOU!

RC still takes infant Tylenol at age 3 because it's easier to hold the dropper while I'm pinning him down by the shoulders with my knees.

I'm with you. Of course it's the same baby bird.

InTheFastLane said...

You should have seen the places I used to hide my vitamins as a kid...

2KoP said...

When my girl was little, I used to have to lay her on the floor and clamp her head between my legs to get medicine down her throat. She was the queen of ear infections and the only antibiotics that worked tasted like bananas that had been sprayed with Raid. (Don't ask how I know that.)

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