Sunday, January 24, 2010

It's Good To Get Out Once In A While

I forget how much I like my friends. 

I spend much of my time in solitude:  writing, in my car listening to NPR, walking with my dogs.  And when I'm not alone, I'm with my family. 

I'm not a total hermit.  There's plenty of time in the day with people around:  volunteering at school, carpool, play dates.  And I cherish Thursdays with my writing workshop where I am amongst a group of people whose interests are the same as my own - HEAVEN.  But, when the day is done: the dinner dishes cleaned, the next day's lunches made, the kids asleep, what I most likely haven't managed to do is connect with my friends.  Days, weeks, even months go by without talking to people I love. 

Someone once said, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."  I think it just makes you self-involved.

This is not an epiphany.  I just happen to be feeling it this morning after a particularly fun night with old friends that left me inebriated, suffering from insomnia, and emotional.

The thing about not getting out is that you forget there is a whole world out there full of interesting people who you like and who like you, too.  It seems I'm not alone in this.  That many of us, in our child-rearing years, between working and family responsibilities, suffer from the same inability to escape our fish bowls.

I wish I had an answer for this.  We all talked last night about having once-a-month rotating dinner parties.  (Of course, I suggested progressive parties, with grain alcohol, the likes of which I attended in college, but seeing how well I managed on just white wine, I think I'll reconsider).

I wish I could tell you (as I'm telling myself right now), that I'm going to be better about making plans with friends, better about calling them and my family, better about venturing outside of my bubble.  BETTER ABOUT BLOGGING. 

Right this moment, I WILL improve at all of those things.
Tomorrow, once this hangover has subsided and my emotions are once again pushed down beneath the usual daily hustle, who knows?

I'm off to fix myself a Bloody Mary and think about it.
Just kidding.

What do you do to stay connected with friends?


Andrea's Sweet Life said...

It's hard for me to see most of my friends on any kind of regular basis. I live in solitude, because we're on a ranch in the middle of nowhere.

So, I connect with my friends HERE - on the interwebs. Or we text. Which is a great way to keep up with each other, but those times when I get to actually SEE my friends and we can laugh and finish each other's sentences and tell stories? Those are my favorite times, even if they only come once or twice a year.

Headless Mom said...

I have similar problems. Luckily, we have made some friends as a couple, whose children are around our kids age, so that helps. We usually get together 2-3 times a month now, which is a great change from my ass on the couch all the time. I never get out with just the girls-except for BlogHer. That's my girl time!

Anonymous said...

What do I do? I drink white wine with my friends and discuss the monthly dinner parties!! Saturday night was FUN!!! Let's do it again very soon!! JR

merlotmom said...

To Anonymous:

therextras said...

She's in OR. I'm in TX. We've been friends for over 20 years. Haven't seen each other in 15. Last year we agreed to talk on the phone the first Sunday of every month. It works! Barbara

Coffee with Cathy said...

You've identified a problem that plagues many of us. I started a couple groups for friends to get together regularly -- a book club and a cooking club -- for just that reason, and they help. Also, every time I debate about calling or stopping by or checking in in some way, I'm always glad I didn't talk myself out of it. I'm lazy, too, but it's always worth the effort!

©2010 All rights reserved. Reproductions of any portion of this website only at the express permission of