Tuesday, July 29, 2008

You Kiss Your Children With That Mouth?


Dinnertime at the MM household:

Setting:
Me in the kitchen, a glass of wine in hand following an afternoon of "blah, blah, blah, ice cream, blah, blah, blah, pokemon, blah, blah, blah, shorts from abercombrie&fitch, blah, blah, blah, has more pokemons than me, blah, blah, blah, has a cell phone, blah, blah, blah, how come I don't have a cell phone)

Me: "J, M, dinner's ready."

Them: (chirp, chirp)

Me: "J, M, dinner's ready."

Them: (chirp, chirp)

Me: "J, M, your dinners are getting cold. Come down, NOW."

M: "Just a second."

J: "Wha?"

Me: "Come down and wash your hands."

J: "Wha'd you say?"

Me: (aaaargh) Dinner! NOW. Come down and wash your hands.

J: "whaAAT! AVATAR'S NOT FINISHED YET. IT HAS TO FINISH FIRST! YOU NEVER LET ME WATCH AVATAR! ALL MY FRIENDS GET TO WATCH AVATAR! THIS IS SOOOO UNFAIR. WHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"

Me: "GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE NOW OR I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'LL NEVER GET TO WATCH AVATAR!"

J: "YOU'RE THE WORST MOM EVER!! I HATE YOU!"

Me: "F**k this shit. F**k. F**K!!! How did I get here? I wanna be back in San Francisco. Whaaaaa."


*photo courtesy of google images

16 Comments:

Manic Mommy said...

Aaaaaand The Grateful Life comes to an abrupt halt.

Teri said...

Oh wow, yeah, I would never think anything like that. Yeah, never. Okay, maybe just about everyday - but I can call that never, right?

Headless Mom said...

Pokemon, Avatar, Ben 10, Bionicles.

We live in parallel worlds, sister!

slouching mom said...

have you been spying on us? ;)

Dawn said...

We're there with you except for Avatar. I just spent an hour on the computer with my 5-year old looking at Pokemon, who evolves to whom, etc.

At some point, almost every day, when some screamy 5-year old ungrateful little boy is screaming that he hates me because I won't let him drink any more Sprite, I hear the Talking Heads ... "You may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife/And you may ask yourself - well...how did I get here?"

Those days, I really get mired in the road not taken... Law school; the little girl baby I lost; that lesbian who asked me out in college.

But, for better and worse. Here we are. How do we make the best of it?

ByJane said...

Dawn has the right question. Can you stand back from it all, breath, and figure out what is possible for you to do about it.

A Mom Two Boys said...

:0) I'm with ya, babe. Some days it just sucks, and you'd take being in SF (even with dropping your phone in a toilet) over dealing with that sh*t.

Hope things have shaped up. Or that you've at least had a glass of wine! Or will soon.

JCK said...

No one can do SCREECH and SCREAM like me. Really. Thank you for this post. I completely get it. Today.

Florinda said...

Ah, the Pokemon. Always the Pokemon talk. Even if you stop listening to it, it just keeps going. I'm just glad it's going on in someone else's house too - I'm feeling your pain :-).

Mommy Bits said...

Auuuugh. Atleast you had the wine there to ease the pain. On Saturday my 3 year old told me he didn't like me anymore because we didn't have time to go through the toy isle at Target.

Good N Crazy said...

How old are they. Cuz my dinnertime is soooooo similar. Change out Hannah Montana and Ben10 and ditto.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Tell that boy to Tivo/DVR that shit and mind his P's&Q's.

my word verification is "jujnfejw". sounds like a Pokemon character to me.

KTP said...

To make you feel any better, yesterday my son told his father that "Mommy told me to go to my f*cking room!"

He is three.

That was my big wakeup call. I'm not swearing any more. Cold turkey.

PAPA said...

My mom never had to call me for dinner, I was too busy looking over her shoulders.
"It's not ready yet."
"I know. I just want to SEE it."

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Always Home and Uncool said...

If you or anyone can explain Pokemon, the game or its popularity, I will buy the beer. Christ, I miss just flipping baseball cards.

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