When Do Moms Come First?

Have you asked yourself this question?

I have, many times since leaving my career in television.  I thought it would be a pleasure to leave the rat race and become a SAHM.  I fantasized about baking cookies, walking my kids to the park, cooking family meals, and reading (something other than scripts).    After four years at home, I have done all of these things yet I’m still haunted by a sense of dissatisfaction.

When I worked, I blamed the feeling on my bosses, the demands of my job, the office politics; I thought staying home would eliminate my obstacles to self-satisfaction.  But, instead of blaming it on my work, I started blaming it on my family.  Days filled with fighting over homework, carpooling, grocery shopping, and cleaning dishes were not exactly soul-enriching endeavors.  I became angry, resentful of the people I loved.

I’d dreamed of being a writer since I was small.  I worked with tv writers and read stacks of how-to books on writing but fear and lack of confidence kept me from actually trying to become one.  Nevertheless, the dream continued to nag at me and in my 30’s I stirred up enough courage to take some classes.  Unfortunately, courage was not enough and with two babies at home, writing for hours a day just wasn’t a reality.  So I let myself become distracted.  After all, being helpful to others and checking off to-do lists was much easier to do than risk my own failure.

So here I am, close to 50, and still poked by this dissatisfaction...   (link to rest of article here)

*this post is an original to LA Mom's Blog