What Goes Around Comes Around

When I was a kid, I spent my Friday nights eating Lays potato chips with a side of Oreos watching The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family.


Later, in high school and college, I was too busy using mind-altering substances (and then eating Lays potato chips with a side of Oreos) to watch tv.  I was making my own entertainment;  some of which was award-winning, most of which were boring repeats.

Then, I got married and had kids and my Friday nights blended into every other night which meant eating Lays potato chips with a side of Oreos and falling asleep before prime time.

Now, with my kids old enough to entertain themselves and my husband busy somewhere else in the house with his own version of Friday night entertainment (hmmmm)  my idea of a perfect evening is to curl up ALONE in a hot bath with a glass of merlot and watch missed episodes of Cougar Town.

Now it's wine instead of junk food.  And TIVO instead of TGIF but you do see the similarities, right?  What goes around comes around.

Anyway, I HATED Cougar Town in the beginning.  I told everyone who'd listen that it was so obviously a man writing about what he thought a middle-aged woman would do and think and not really what we middle-aged woman would do and think.  AND THEN months later, out of boredom, I tuned in to some later episodes and... NOW I'M HOOKED.

It's my dirty little secret (shhhh....).  I LOVE THIS SHOW.  It's like candy without the cavities.  Tonight, I sat in the tub for over an hour, blissfully alone, shriveled, pruned, buzzed, and laughing out loud.

Okay, I'm pathetic.  Fine.  I admit it.  But the damn show makes me laugh.  And you have to admit Courtney Cox looks damn good at her (my) age.   And thus you think it's a total guilty pleasure, it has taught me one valuable lesson - to keep away from the botox seeing as when they smile, Courtney and Krista Miller can, for a fleeting moment, bring to mind those disturbing, life-size plastic dolls.

Anyway,  now that I'm done watching sexy people, wearing sexy clothes, and cracking sexy jokes,   I'm going to go look for my husband...

Could his/my Friday night get any better?

Lest You Think I Exaggerate...

it's 10pm,
in merlotmom's house,
not a creature is stirring,
not even a mouse...

...who the hell am I kidding?!




And while I was absorbed in posting this, Peanut was quietly resting at my feet absorbed in a project of her very own...chewing on a dirty tampon. (I'm sparing you a video of it - you can thank me later.)

I wish I could say this was unusual... anyone wanna join me in a glass of wine?

Making Lemonade Out of Lemons - Sort Of

I'm inundated with household bullshit today. I'm Donna Reed with a MAC. Buried in papers to fill out and checks to write. My ear tethered to a phone stuck on interminable hold made worse by corny, elevator soundtracks.

But I can find a way for even this dull day to not rank as a total loss. I would like to share a few of my delightful, domestic insights with you my bloggy, blogger friends (whether you want me to or not):

1. If you drink four glasses of wine with dinner take an Advil before bed or be prepared to be a total bitch the next day.
   
2. If you are woken in the middle of the night by the piercing shrieks of a cat being attacked by a coyote expect whatever sleep does follow to be riddled with horrifying, Manson-like images.
3. Periodically clean out the center cone thing-y in your washing machine or you'll end up with a two inch thick, five inch long nasty smelling, wet sheet of moldy, lint-y sludge.
4. Don't leave in the garbage the bag that held the fresh fish you cooked for dinner the night before.
5. Never hide a tennis ball from a Labrador puppy behind your six foot fence and on top of your operating air conditioning unit. Where there's a ball, there's a way.

Yes, this is my life. Don't you wish you were me?

Hey, bitches! It's not Monday. I don't have to be grateful today.
Suck it.
(sorry, it's the hangover.)