Blog Her Conference '08 - Premature Anxiety

I know I'm a bit early in asking this question but if I don't do it now, I may forget to ask altogether and then I'll show up a day late and a dollar short and curse myself silly.

So...

...since this is my first time and I know some of you have been to BlogHer before, can you guys tell me and other newbies what we will need? So far, I've heard business cards but then I watched the mom blogger segment on the Today show this morning (check out this mom's blog for the video) and I saw that everyone at BlogHerBusiness was furiously tapping away on their laptops. Then elsewhere I read a suggestion to bring a power strip. (I, an apparent Luddite, thought I'd carry around a notebook. What was I thinking!)

Aaaaagh!! My head hurts!!! Please help!! This is worse than traveling abroad!!

I'm going to have anxiety dreams about showing up, eager to make a good impression, and instead greeting my new friends with zit cream on my face or naked from the waist up.

Who can spare me (and other beginners) this humiliation? If I get enough info I'll put together a BlogHer checklist post.

Thanks. Wish me tranquil dreams.

How to Look 10 Years Younger and 10 Pounds Lighter

I read this post, 10 Commandments for Dropping 10 Pounds and 10 Years, by Jodie Clements of Yadaspeak.com who guest wrote for the terrific blog, Dumb Little Man. From my own experience and education (advice from doctors and nutritionists), I know her advice to be sound. What I like is that it's all right there in one easy to read list. I suggest printing it out and keeping it in the kitchen.

I don't much know how effective these ideas are for shedding pounds (I'm petite - can't you tell from my logo?) but I can attest to it working for lowering cholesterol (hereditary problem) and for keeping you looking (and feeling) younger.

The only advice on Jodie's list I've not tried and I'm not so sure about is #9 -exfoliation is great but coconut oil? From someone who had and sometimes still has issues with acne, that suggestion just freaks me out! But since the rest of her advice is good, I may give it a go, though certainly not before any social outings.

Bubble Butt? What? Where? Elisabeth Hasselbeck Shows More Skin

As if shoving her milk-swollen boobs and bubble butt in our face wasn't enough...

...now Elisabeth is baring her beauteous post-pregnancy, bikini clad bod to the world in Fitness magazine.

Sure I appreciate her message: it's possible for other moms to shed the baby flab without dieting, rather choosing healthy foods and exercise.

But please, she's not exactly like the rest of us. She was an athlete in college (softball), she's married to a professional football player who comes from a family of professional athletes (no fatties there!), she had a gorgeous figure before the babies - WTF!

Elisabeth, leave the rest of us alone. Stop finding honorable rationalizations for showing off your fantastic shape. You're just pissing us all off.

What next? Elisabeth Hasselbeck from The View to Playboy?

Boobs, Big Butts and I'm "100" Today

Barbara Walters is on the interview trail plugging her autobiography, Audition. Of course, the media is focusing more on her sexual affairs and celebrity friends than they are her trailblazing news career as the first female to cover politics and other formally male-dominated journalistic arenas.

I wonder if Barbara, now in the twilight years of her career, realized when she started The View that she would be taking women (and the public's view of women) back to the pre-Gloria Steinem age?

Okay, not always but VERY often. One case in point - Elisabeth Hasselbeck. This beautiful, intelligent woman needs to develop her internal editor so other intelligent women looking for a female "view" on the news need not be subjected to her constant cat fighting and "intimate" chats about her body parts. (See here and here.)

T.M.I.

The show has become an embarrassing caricature of what I assume Barbara initially had in mind. Elisabeth, Rosie, Sherri, and others, are grist for the cartoon media mill. I'm upset and embarrassed by how The View puts bright, successful women in the public spotlight only to shine on them the aura of silly, sorority schoolgirls.


P.S. This is my 100th post!

Do I get an award or should I call Elisabeth Hasselbeck for a chest to pin it on?

Let's Do It Already! Let's Choose a Candidate

I know I've said this before but PLEASE make this primary end, PLEASE.

To anyone who lives in Indiana or North Carolina: I know you're excited, I know this time around your votes actually count for something - so, I beg of you, make them count! Tip the scales. Vote for who you think is going to win and end this madness.

It's not that I don't care, it's that I do. This democratic election started out with hope and promise that has deteriorated into a deplorable battle of negatives and a bottomless pit of disingenuousness.

In the beginning choosing between Obama and Hillary was like choosing between ice cream and cake; either one tastes good going down. Now choosing between them is like choosing between the smelliest cheese - France's Vieux Boulogne or, perhaps, Limberger. Both candidates reek with the aging stench of past lies and contaminated affiliations.

I don't trust either of them anymore between Hillary's blatant storytelling about sniper fire in Bosnia and Obama's quick flip from supporting his family minister of 20 years to disavowing of him. Their chameleon-like personalities change depending on the political climate of the location du jour. One moment, Obama is a private school, Ivy League educated elitist and another, as in Indiana, he is guzzling beers and, per NYTimes' Maureen Dowd, "getting down". Hillary remains aligned to her blue-collar roots despite the hundreds of millions she has in the bank.

Worse still, the more we shine the spotlight on Hillary and Obama's screw-ups, the better John McCain looks. Even his seeking out of Reverend Hagee's endorsement (a man who says Hurricane Katrina was an act of God in response to an upcoming gay rights parade) gets little coverage in comparison to the Obama and Rev. Wright debacle. (See Frank Rich's Opinion article in the NYTimes as well as Media Matters which has Hagee's direct quote.)

Is it their fault or ours? Can anyone's character withstand this rapid-fire assault? Can anyone be everything to all people? Are we forcing our candidates to pander in order to get the votes? We must reach a Democratic denouement and fast or, at this rate, we're going to have a President in office worth less than the toilet-tissue our dollar is printed on.

Inspiration for Life, Writing and Everything Else by the Wall Street Journal

Barbara over at Writing Time posted a reference to the April 29th Wall St. Journal article by Melinda Beck entitled, "If At First You Don't Succeed, You're in Excellent Company."

This is an amazing article quoting superstars in their fields about their repeated failures and how those failures helped them to achieve success. From Julie Andrews to Michael Jordan, J.K. Rowling, and as far back as Thomas Edison, these icons and others all had one thing in common: critics predicting they'd never amount to anything. One teacher of the subsequently renowned British author, G.K. Chesterton, even went so far as to tell his fledgling student that if his head were opened "we should not find any brain, only a lump of white fat".

The message here has import for all of us as well as our children. To take risks, to chance failing, is not to be avoided but to be embraced. Failure is a natural part of the learning process from which we gain the strength and knowledge to attain our success as well as maintain it. Above all else the takeaway is: When it comes to chasing your dream listen to no one but yourself.

Like burning sage to cleanse a haunted house or holding garlic to a vampire, I'm placing copies of this article in every nook and cranny of my home. I'll even carry it with me in my purse. Though I've never had anyone tell me my brain was just a lump of fat, I'll try anything to scare away my critics - they are EVERYWHERE!

The Know-It-All: There's One In Every Crowd

I like women.
I support women.
Some of my best friends are women.

But why is it that when you gather a large group of females there's always one who thinks she's the authority.

I can't tolerate THAT woman.

Admittedly, I have never been a fan of estrogen extravaganzas. They take me back to my youth when powerful girls put their collective authority to misuse humiliating others with their catty remarks, shameless manipulations, and their Salem-like witch hunts for such crimes as intelligence or a poor fashion sense. In college I refused to rush the sororities while all of my friends offered themselves up for sacrifice. I couldn't fathom appearing before courts of judgmental cliques awaiting validation. Girls with authority left me with a rank taste in my mouth.

I like to think I've changed as I've grown older.
I like to think I'm more learned about human psychology.
I like to think I've shed these prejudices.

Then a woman like this one comes along and blows my maturity fantasy to pieces...

Gathered in our school auditorium on a breezy evening a few nights ago, a group of neighborhood moms came to hear renowned, clinical psychologist, Lee Hausner speak. Ms. Hausner is an international lecturer, was the senior psychologist of the Beverly Hills School District for nineteen years, and an author of some best-selling books including, Children of Paradise and Homework Without Tears. We were looking forward to learning from her experience.

About ten minutes into her talk, a mom from our school entered the room from the front entrance, crossing in front of Ms. Hausner and the audience to find a seat. Even more distracting was the fact that she brought along her ten year old daughter.

What part of the title did she not understand? P-A-R-E-N-T-I-N-G seminar. We're here to talk candidly and strategize about raising our little rugrats - we can't do that when we're fraternizing with the "enemy". Did I bring my daughter in to watch while my husband and I conceived her little brother? Sure the results of that "meeting" were going to radically affect her life but it was not appropriate for her to be present during the planning stages!

We settled back down and within minutes of scraping the surface on issues such as unrealistic expectations, misuse of discipline and parental power, and projecting our dreams and failures onto our children, this woman disrupted the flow yet again.

"Excuse me," she interjected stumbling over her words and slowly processing her thoughts out loud, "This is what I do with my children and each of them gets straight A's..." She proceeded to outline her afternoon and evening routine for Ms. Hausner who was adept at giving the woman her due but cutting her off at the first appropriate moment.

Ms. Hausner practiced this skill often throughout the next hour because this woman AND her daughter frequently interrupted the lecture to share personal anecdotes proving THEIR knowledge and success on the subject.

I understand that this mother's patina of perfection was likely a cover for her insecurity (and that her ten year old daughter who thinks she is wise beyond her years will discover her mistake once she's had kids of her own). I realize that this mother was probably there just like the rest of us because underneath all the smiles and affirmations she also fears she's a mommy dearest screwing up her kids on a daily basis.

BUT I did not drag my tired ass out of the house to be a fly on the wall in her private therapy session. I did not brush my teeth and spread on lip gloss to eavesdrop on her quest for professional validation. If I knew that was going to go down I would have used my free time to visit the local restaurant/bar and slam back a few pomegranate martinis.

...This woman brought out the mean girl in me like the ones I hated from junior high. It took great restraint not to shoot her lethal looks while whispering catty comments into the ear of the woman next to me.

I'm not proud.
I blame her.
Maturity fantasy - kaboom!



**Lee Hausner offers smart, practical tips on parenting. She advocates a middle ground of being tough and setting guidelines for your children while also giving them time to play. She stresses the importance of a true childhood with less pressure on grades and performance and more emphasis on personal responsibility. I highly recommend reading some of her books. I know I will because though I had the benefit of hearing her speak she barely got a word in edgewise.