tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475652659521783747.post1335272521875812384..comments2023-12-22T00:30:12.836-08:00Comments on merlot mom: Bullying - It Takes A Village.merlotmomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18383116319057495855noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475652659521783747.post-21602238495174754822010-04-15T18:39:55.903-07:002010-04-15T18:39:55.903-07:00Wow. Thank you for sharing that and I'm sorry...Wow. Thank you for sharing that and I'm sorry on behalf of the human race that you had those experiences. I had my share of bullying as a shy kid, and on the other side of the coin remember what it was like to be bullied into bullying someone else too.<br /><br />I have a six year old daughter and wrote a while back about wanting to surround her in bubblewrap as she grows. But it can so easily swing the other way. Your son sounds so normal to me, not a bully at all. But my daughter comes home with similar stories from school and it makes me realize I need to stay attentive.mosey (kim)https://www.blogger.com/profile/14990626697257089908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475652659521783747.post-82282433137923223742010-04-11T17:41:45.238-07:002010-04-11T17:41:45.238-07:00Though I have no personal experience with bullying...Though I have no personal experience with bullying, I have seen it and had to deal with it as a middle school teacher when I was in the States and then again, here in Japan, where bullying seems to be a part of school life (and tv...adults on tv are terrible to those who are different..all for the 'entertainment' factor).<br />I have 2 sons (7 and 12)...we have raised them basically the same and yet, while my oldest is calm, mild-mannered (except for those pre-teen moments he has) my youngest is the one I worry about. he is so aggressive and I see him as one with bully-potential. is it because of something we, as parents, did or didn't do? if that were true, why not the oldest having the same behavior?<br />Saying that it is the parents' fault doesn't really fly with me. i tend to agree with your Hillary idea...there are so many influences our there that reach our kids...we have very little control (short of locking them away in a room until they are 18) as to who our kids come into contact on a daily basis.<br />I know that there are certain kids that my youngest is friends with that, when together, they tend to get into more trouble. i'm not sure who the instigator is...maybe they just "feed" off each other. i don't know.<br />I'm curious to read more about this and how to handle it as "we need to treat everyone nice and with respect" doesn't seem to be working very well right now.dkuroiwahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14702013452096435136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475652659521783747.post-38110286950100377742010-04-09T20:11:28.398-07:002010-04-09T20:11:28.398-07:00I really do not have much experience with bullying...I really do not have much experience with bullying per say but I am a mom of 2 year old twins that constantly use force and verbal torment (even though I don't quite understand it) on each other. Unfortunately like other forms of bulling I think this is the only way they think they can control the situation. I really do not think that changes much from 2-92 years old the situation is what gets complicated. Are they trying to control what is going on at home by taking it out on their peers, or hurt for not being like anymore (like in your pot smoking friends case) or not having the same socio economic background etc... Maybe it is too simplistic but personaly I think it is just that.polwig.comhttp://polwig.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475652659521783747.post-55150675821353296812010-04-07T17:27:34.028-07:002010-04-07T17:27:34.028-07:00I was bullyed as a child too. First time was firs...I was bullyed as a child too. First time was first grade; last time was eleventh grade. I left the school after that. I think there are multiple reasons for bullying, multiple fingers we can point. Apportioning blame makes us feel better about such thing--"it's their fault or theirs or theirs..." Frankly, I think it's a bit like world peace--unattainable. I think every involved adult needs to intercede, but I can understand why they don't. Nothing like a protective parent in your face threatening a lawsuit for talking smack to his or her kid.ByJanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10540902996183063666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475652659521783747.post-54566037931631522332010-04-07T08:41:02.026-07:002010-04-07T08:41:02.026-07:00thank you for your input, guys. it breaks my hear...thank you for your input, guys. it breaks my heart to hear so many bully stories past and present. If we only knew then what we know now...merlotmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18383116319057495855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475652659521783747.post-79262172703868362382010-04-07T05:48:21.822-07:002010-04-07T05:48:21.822-07:00My experiences during my youth are very similar to...My experiences during my youth are very similar to yours, making me very interested in tips and advice on the subject. My two boys are still very young, and I will do everything in my power to teach them to grow up being compassionate. But at the same time, how do we keep them from being bullied? How do we teach them that being nice, or quiet, or enjoying music, or simply being different can sometimes lead to the tormented behavior you and I experienced?<br /><br />As I tread through the years ahead, my eyes and ears will be soaking up all of their lives. I hope that by doing this, I can teach them to defend themselves with confidence while showing respect and empathy to others around them. Your thoughts?Stefanie Hagemanhttp://mamabearhageman.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475652659521783747.post-5606050068774651512010-04-06T22:42:13.573-07:002010-04-06T22:42:13.573-07:00I totally agree. I don't know about anyone els...I totally agree. I don't know about anyone else, but I have one son who is just.like.me. I see his mind working, know just what he's thinking. Him? I'm not worried about not because he'll be perfect but because I know what imperfections to look for. The other son? He is much more like his father. He's the one I worry about not being able to anticipate his behavior. I won't go so far as to say bullies are likely to be the children of parents who were themselves bullied because it's much more complicated than that. But I do think that having been bullied does not in any way shape or form prevent your kids from engaging in the very behavior that tormented you as a kid.EmmieJhttp://lifebehindthecurve.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475652659521783747.post-25327411318084848252010-04-06T20:26:36.971-07:002010-04-06T20:26:36.971-07:00the statement that ALL parents of ALL bullies are ...the statement that ALL parents of ALL bullies are bullies themselves ignores the parents who are bullied by there child.<br /><br />I was bullied a lot growing up. Being smaller, always the new guy, having glasses, and with learning disabilities made me an easy target. It wasn't just the children bullying me but teachers as well.<br /><br />Sometimes the worst thing about bullying is going to someone about it and getting told off for being weak about it. It maybe part of why I've been recommended for therapy.<br /><br />Bullying can be a symptom of problems that need attention. Thanks for sharing your story.Edadianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04303199208087805308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475652659521783747.post-43879201349430455912010-04-06T19:14:25.336-07:002010-04-06T19:14:25.336-07:00Such a difficult subject to answer as my girls are...Such a difficult subject to answer as my girls are younger but I already see it starting to happen. Children from good homes, parents very active in their lives and take great concern and action in trying to mediate their kids results.<br /><br />I don't have an answer but can see both sides. I don't believe everything is a parent's fault just like I don't believe you can show 500 bajillion flash cards to insure their genius status.<br /><br />My cousin's daughter is going through this very subject in a small town in Texas. She is so distraught, she didn't go to school today because a guy friend tipped her off that she was going to be jumped by a gaggle of girls. because? she's blond? who knows. The principal has been contacted as well as the teachers but they don't seem to take heed in the warnings.<br /><br />Again, I don't have any answers but support both sides of the coin when it comes to blame on the parents for every little move a child makes.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03042060446755347826noreply@blogger.com